We often use this phrase, “Mind your own Business” when people intrude in our lives. At times it’s a rude reaction, or simply to convey that drawing boundaries is healthy for parties involved.
However, the virus is being intrusive and yes, we have no capacity yet to say to it “Mind your own business”. I’d like to think that it is reminding us of our true business.
And what is that business? It’s a question that we are all trying to answer. Social media is full of quotes and posts that seem to answer this question; one such quote says, “the earth has sent us to our rooms to think about what we have done.”
For me personally, these are uncertain yet interesting times. I feel I can pace; I can slow down and I can focus on the task at hand and get intentional towards my to-do list. I know I will fumble, and that is okay. I know I have been reactive, because now suddenly my team meetings are happening online. My way of being busy is changing. Stories of being busy that I told myself and others, are losing their sheen. However, the reality of social distancing is that I cannot step out or catch up over coffee with colleagues and friends. I have stopped being busy in that sense. And so, I have been thinking of this phrase that is universal, “I am busy!”
The absence of frenzy, that I will call busyness, seems strange while the same frenzy calmed my otherwise anxious nerves when I had stuff to do. Ever thought about it? Why being busy calms our anxious nerves? Busyness is a narrative that we embody, a story we tell ourselves. “I enjoy it”, “They need me”, “If I don’t do it, no one will.” That’s what we are after. The story boosts our ego, keeps us inflated.
However, now, I am experiencing an expanse within, the rat race seems to have disappeared. I am not defending my busyness. It’s increasing my capacity to behold and see my actions in a rather neutral fashion. The busyness of checking social media seems to have loosened its grip. The frenzy has lost its frenzy. I am listening to this song, which I believe is a lovely antidote to this narrative we embody: Simple Things by Elisabeth Withers.
This pandemic could be leading us to a doorway. I remember a picture on a tarot card I saw years ago; a person walking towards a gate with a huge lock, they hesitate and think the door is locked, they head a bit closer only to discover the lock is just dangling. All they need to do is to push the gate open. This doorway is a portal to our true business, which is to create value for ourselves, our families, and eventually our society. Create value by cultivating a quality in our relationships, by stop buying and hoarding stuff; perhaps a Marie Kondo way of decluttering our external and internal.
Seth Godin says, that busy is not your job. Busy doesn’t get you what you seek. Busy isn’t the point. Value creation is. You only get today once. Your team does too. How will you spend it?
With busyness also comes reactivity. Are we noticing it? What are we noticing?
Are we spending quality time with our family, even though when there might be less space in our homes? Maybe we are used to living alone, and now suddenly have to live with family, do we feel suffocated? Are we reactive when our child can’t sleep at night, throws tantrums, because they now miss their school-friends or weekly hockey?
Are we forgiving ourselves, when we become reactive? Do we give ourselves permission to express that reactivity? Honestly, it’s ok. Are we just being a bit more patient with ourselves? If we are, it’s an indicator of our level of patience with our families and friends.
Gratitude, meditation, art, music, reflection or non-doing are just a few examples that anchor us, that ground us. In my somatic coaching practice for my clients, I have learnt that stuck energy is a cause of many emotional and physical ailments. Appreciating that we have a wonderful body that guides us, leads us to act, to move. We create more value by exercising, walking or yoga/dance that allow energy to flow and not get stuck.
Am I noticing this silver lining on my cloud? What is good about my life? What’s my true business? I am noticing, reflecting and appreciating simplest things and perhaps that is my true business. The actions I take now will create value….
Presence supports me in letting go of my story. Creating Value, I believe will follow…..meanwhile here’s a few things I am noticing,
Oh! the Canada geese are back in flocks in my neighbourhood pond
I am communicating with my in-laws via zoom
I am more present and have more time to spend with my son
I’m meditating and remembering my soul more
Oh! and there are bunnies in the backyard!
Common grackles with soft green neck and blue plumage are back in my yard!
Here’s my invitation to you, what’s your true business in this time of upheaval?
What are the silver linings on your cloud?